There is a point where one needs to just “take a moment.” So I sit in my chair…coffee in hand…to ponder. I remember the days when I would be constantly in motion…I just wasn’t happy unless I was “doing something significant.” I realize now that that part of me has slipped away. I no longer feel the “need” to pursue the biggest, or the best, or what that might “look” like to others. What I discovered was this…I was finding my “purpose” in what someone else “thought” was important. I found myself happy only when I had a “story to tell”, which is really just me reacting to other’s reaction to what I had done and had no significance to me until then? But that comes with a price to pay. I ‘m just not willing to pay that price any more.
I now am choosing to live my life finding joy in little treasures all around me. This is what makes me happy. When my children are laughing, not because they have the newest little thing, but because they made a funny joke or are finding pleasure in the wind blowing on their face, or something else as equally as special, and the cost is free. I am finding joy in a beautiful sunset, or rainbow, or sitting quietly watching the wind blow the leaves on the trees. I am finding joy, not in reaching out, but being reached instead. I am finding joy in simple conversations and moments of connection…ah, that one is a true treasure.
I have found that these things happen in the every day. These things can not be planed. These things are only appreciated if one is paying attention and is “present” enough to notice.
So friends, I have pulled back a bit, or so it would seem, but really…I am finally moving forward.
I guess I am just trying to enjoy every moment… just as it is.
Life is a beautiful thing…just as it is.